“With great power comes great responsibility” — and resistance.
Picture this: Peter Parker has finally gotten his act together. He’s balancing school, relationships, and swinging between skyscrapers with flair. And then — BAM! — he ghosts Mary Jane, misses exams, picks a pointless fight with a villain he could’ve avoided. Why? Because Peter, like many of us, is afraid of what success demands.
Welcome to the paradox of progress. Many people consciously strive for growth, mastery, and meaning, but unconsciously slam on the brakes when they get too close to achieving them. This phenomenon, known as self-sabotage, is not just a flaw of character — it’s a complex intersection of neurobiology, shadow psychology, and the archetypal hero’s journey.
Why Do We Fear What We Want?
The question seems absurd at first glance: why would anyone fear success? But the answer is buried deep in our wiring and mythology.
To succeed is to change. And the brain — marvelous survival machine that it is — equates change with potential threat. From a neuroscience perspective, the amygdala, which processes fear, becomes highly active in the face of uncertainty (LeDoux, 2015). Even the good kind of uncertainty — like a promotion, a new relationship, or recognition — can spike cortisol and trigger avoidance behaviors.
Add to this the habitual nature of the brain. The basal ganglia automate patterns, and success often demands disrupting old routines — which feels like death to the ego (Duhigg, 2012). So, we procrastinate, pick fights, or “forget” key tasks — classic self-sabotage maneuvers.
Jung, the Shadow, and the Fear of Expansion
Carl Jung called the parts of ourselves we disown the shadow. For many, the shadow isn’t just repressed anger or shame — it’s also brilliance, ambition, and power. We grow up learning not to “shine too brightly” or make others uncomfortable. So, when opportunities arise to level up, the shadow stirs.
Jung suggested that individuation — becoming whole — requires confronting this hidden self. But the psyche resists. We identify with the small self, the underdog, the struggler. Success threatens that identity. In coaching, this often shows up as the inner saboteur — a voice saying, “Who do you think you are?”
Coaching the Inner Saboteur
In coaching, we often encounter clients who hit a ceiling — not because of external limits, but internal sabotage. The antidote isn’t just more productivity hacks. It’s deeper integration.
Effective coaching asks: What part of you is afraid of this success? This invites a dialogue between the ego and the shadow, between the conscious desire and the unconscious resistance. Neuroscience supports this too: awareness and naming emotional states engages the prefrontal cortex, helping regulate fear responses (Lieberman et al., 2007).
Leadership development, in particular, is rife with this dynamic. High performers promoted to leadership roles often feel unworthy. They micromanage, delay decisions, or retreat into technical tasks. Coaching here becomes a container for identity evolution — from achiever to leader, from hero to guide.
Superheroes and the Sabotage Arc
Think about superheroes who struggle with their own power. Peter Parker pushes away those he loves. Bruce Banner resents the Hulk. Jean Grey fears the Phoenix. Success, in these narratives, means transformation — and transformation means loss of the familiar self.
This mirrors the Monomyth, or Hero’s Journey. After crossing the threshold, the hero faces trials — not just from the world, but from within. The refusal of the call, the road of trials, the abyss — all reflect inner sabotage. Only by confronting their shadow can the hero emerge transformed.
In coaching terms, the call to action is clear: we must normalize fear of success as part of the growth process. Success isn’t just a destination; it’s a death and rebirth. The old self must die for the new self to rise.
From Saboteur to Ally
The goal isn’t to eradicate the inner saboteur, but to understand it. What if that fearful voice is trying to protect you — from rejection, from visibility, from the unknown?
In narrative coaching, we help clients reframe their inner critic as a guardian of thresholds. With compassion and curiosity, we can integrate the saboteur into the hero’s council — not as an enemy, but as a cautious advisor. This turns inner conflict into inner dialogue, fostering resilience and self-leadership.
Reflection Prompt
What part of your psyche resists your next level of success — and what story is it telling you? Write from the perspective of your inner saboteur. Then write a response from your wise self. What does your inner council need to move forward?
References
Duhigg, C. (2012). The power of habit: Why we do what we do in life and business. Random House.
LeDoux, J. E. (2015). Anxious: Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety. Viking.
Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.
